My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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