I only kidnapped one of them. chill
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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