Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
