I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize