She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
