I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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