we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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