Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
