Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
