I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
