i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
