Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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