what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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