Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
