it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
