Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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