I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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