your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
