Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We talked him into tasing himself.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
