Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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