i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
bring money and cleavage
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
