You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize