i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
