Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The air taste purple.
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