I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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