Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
