Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm just crazy horny about you
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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