Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
