wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
