i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
