Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she peed on how many people?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
