I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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