batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
