hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
