And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
