we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
