whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's blow job season.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
