i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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