I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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