East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Drake has all the answers
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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