I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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