i just google imaged poop.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
