He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They have beer where we have blood.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
