Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
