Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
