If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
