On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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