New low: just hacked my moms facebook
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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