the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
