I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
