READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just want to make out with him forever
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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