He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
