You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
