what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
