I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
