She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
