I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
