You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
