me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
