I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
