Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
