my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize