Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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