I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
