dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
