he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
