I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
